Christmas Eve, 2004. The day began so promising.
I slept in until 9:30a, a luxury as Binhost is officially closed from December 24th through January
3rd, 2005 (Thanks Justin).
I crawled out of bed, the sun shining through the curtains, a day of possibilities. Tomorrow is Christmas
after all! Tonight we would share in the traditional meal with the family, although for the first
time we would be enjoying it at our house instead of my in-laws. No problems, my wife cooked
Thanksgiving lunch for 45 people, she can handle six family members.
Admittedly, it was pretty damned cold, but that's part of winter in Iowa (Even with the global warmed shadow of a winter
we're having this year, Republicans can pull their heads out of their collective asses by the way).
When I clambered out of bed and donned clothes, the temperature outside was around -2F, or -17C...
and this is without the 15mph windchill, which probably brings the temperature down closer to -20F.
We do live in a house with central heating, of course, so it was somewhat warmer than that indoors,
but the temperature was still a tad nippy. I shuffled to the bathroom to wash up, turned the hot
tap on, and waited for the water to heat up. And waited. And waited.
No hot water. I only wish I was bloody kidding.

After futzing about in the basement, I managed to get the burner to light when the access panel
to the thing is open - but when the cover is closed, it won't light. Pressure differences or something
I guess, with the wind being as it is.

And then the lights went out. Literally. Turns out the microwave won't go without blowing a breaker,
which irritatingly enough covers most of the bottom floor of the house. Usually we have problems when
we have the washing machine running and the microwave at the same time, but it isn't the case this
time. The microwave just won't go today. Not sure what's going on there.

After attempting to relax, and having had a shower while I knew we had hot water, I received
a phone call. I was supposed to meet a friend at his place of business to pick up a part I needed
for a gift for my father-in-law. And I had forgotten, completely and utterly. His work place closed
early on Christmas Eve, so he was the only schmuck there waiting for my forgetful butt to show up.
The guy tries to do me a favour, and he ends up sitting around while I'm mucking about. That helps
my mood. So, I leap into the Cadillac and drive over there doing 70mph.

Pick up the part, thank my buddy profusely, he hints to me about why my six month old LP water
heater might not be lighting, and how to fiddle my breakers to get a better chance of them
not popping off. Jump back into the Cad to head home, get out of the parking lot and the Cad
begins to chug. I check out the gas tank reading (Which has been broken since we had a mechanic
fix a fuel feed issue), and realise we should have filled it up last night. (The tank reading
gets down to 4 gallons, and never gets lower).
I'm panicking, because I almost never carry cash on me, and then I remember I have $10 in my
back pocket. Salvation! If I can get to the gas station.
I turn the Cadillac towards town, and gently build up speed to coast through town, I get to the
top of the hill leading into town, hoping to build up even more speed as I cruise down the hill,
and all of a sudden there's nothing. No gas, no power, nada. The engine is still running, but
there's no guts. As luck would have it, I spot my wife's uncle parked in at one of his warehouses,
so I figure I can use his cell phone.

I pull in front of the warehouse, about to turn the Cad off, and realise it really is still
running. I gun the engine a couple times - power is there. I look up the road and see a
gas station is less than a mile ahead. So close! Should I risk it?
What the hell. What worse can happen than my freezing to death walking back to Ted on a winters
day like this?
I pull back out, head down the road, and the car begins to chug again. I was hoping to go to
the Caseys, which is usually cheaper than the Kum & Go, but is a quarter mile further down
the road. But that's enough risks for today, I steer into the Kum & Go's forecourt, and pull up
in front of the bowser. I look over to discover that Kum & Go, which I've never actually
stopped at, has those ancient pumps with the analogue display, big numbered wheels that spin
around. I was at the oldest gas station on the planet. I might have attempted to head
on to the Caseys, except just then the car stalled out, the vapours finally spent.

When I returned home, the time was 1:30pm. I don't think I've ever had liquor during the day,
but everyone has their line in the sand, their emotional tight rope, and today has put
me over the edge.
So I poured myself a Baileys over ice.